I started a self defense class recently, and it has started to change the way I react to certain events. The old me would be upset if a stranger  was inconsiderate in public. I might even say something to him or her. The old me would take the time to argue with a stranger who expressed an opinion I disagreed with.

The new me chooses not to react. Now I ignore an inconsiderate stranger and don’t give him another thought. The loudmouth opinion stater that I disagree with does not phase me.

From a self defense standpoint this results in less chance of interacting with a violent person. From a psychological standpoint  being the new me has a calming effect. Now that I ignore inconsiderate people and loud mouths I have less stress in my life. I think this is one reason people say “don’t sweat the small stuff.” It makes life safer and less stressful.

Last week I read  late January and early February is the most depressing time of the year. This is because for most of us in the Northern Hemisphere the days are short and the weather is dreary. The holiday season is over and we have weeks of winter ahead.

While this may be true as far as short days of winter, there is no reason to despair. Challenge yourself to get better at something. Grow your knowledge by reading something worthwhile. Better foster a relationship.

You have control over how you grow your life. Use the days of winter for positive change. Remember life is what you make it.

All actions take place in time by the interweaving of the forces of nature, but the man lost in selfish delusion thinks that he himself is the actor. But the man who knows the relation between the forces of Nature and actions, sees how some forces of Nature work upon other forces of Nature, and becomes not their slave.

Brihad-aranyaka Upanishad

Rich, Poor conflict strongest in 24 years (The Associated Press 1/12/12).                                                 The Associated Press article says “Americans now see more social conflict over wealth inequality… .” About three in 10 Americans polled said there are “very strong” conflicts between the rich and the poor. The share of U.S. wealth held by the top 10% of the population increased from 49% in 2005 to 56% in 2009. Id.

The United States government considers wealthy as having a household income that exceeds $250,000. Although this is a significant income, wealthy is a relative concept. The breadwinners of a family making $250,500 in an expensive area of a major city with typical family overhead most likely do not consider themselves wealthy.  But this family is wealthy compared to a family living on under $30,000 a year which is close to the official poverty level.

One should not feel guilty about making a good income;  one should not feel guilty about being fortunate; but one should remember how tough it is for those who must live on a minimum income:

-Give dignity by showing respect for others regardless of their income level.

-Give to charitable causes that help those less fortunate.

-Refrain from flaunting wealth.

-Remember it is not what is outside the person that counts it is what is inside.

-Remember we are all in this together.

Renew your brilliance. This is the privilege of the phoenix. Ability grows old, and with it fame. The staleness of custom weakens admiration, and a mediocrity that is new often eclipses the highest excellence grown old. Try therefore to be born again in valor, in genius, in fortune, in everything. Display startling novelty-rise afresh like the sun every day. Change too the scene on which you shine, so that your loss may be felt in the old scenes of your triumph, while the novelty of your powers wins you applause in the new.

Baltasar Gracian, The Art Of Worldly Wisdom (Seventeenth Century).

As we start the year many have made a New Year resolution. Some will resolve to lose weight. Some will resolve to exercise. Some will resolve to break a bad habit.

How about resolving to take control of your life? This means you taking the initiative to make things happen. This means acting instead of reacting.

When taking the initiative use your intuition and common sense. If something does not feel right deal with it immediately up front instead of passively letting it unfold to your detriment.  Trust your instinct and first impression which are usually right.

Practice taking control of the small stuff as well as the big stuff. Actively live every moment doing what you know is correct. Move methodically to your long term goals recognizing each day is a step to fulfillment. Take control and make a difference every day.

Recently I went to a local store, the type many shoppers were at on Black Friday. On Black Friday there were news stories of shoppers fighting one another to buy things. As Christmas approaches there will continue to be lots of shoppers, and more battles over merchandise.

When I was at the local store I noticed the Salvation Army bell ringer. There was no line for the Salvation Army money can. Only the bell ringer with rarely a person stopping to give.

Giving is still done. Giving will always be done. The Giving Tree story teaches how unconditional  giving makes a tree feel good and fulfilled. The tree never thinks about itself. It’s first thought is about giving even when giving is at its expense.

This season many will give nothing. Some will give a little. A few will give greatly in relation to their ability. The many will feel nothing. The some will feel some satisfaction. But the few will know their giving whether in time or money has made a difference and they will feel great.

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is  about family, friends and community.

Thanksgiving is a day many Americans gather with family. Family members often travel great distances to be together on Thanksgiving.

Often at the Thanksgiving table are close friends who are family at least for Thanksgiving day. Some people get involved preparing and serving a Thanksgiving meal for homeless people so the homeless can celebrate Thanksgiving in a warm place with quality food.

For our forefathers Thanksgiving was a celebration of making it in the harsh environment of the New World. To survive they needed and got the help of Native Americans. The first Thanksgiving was a celebration between early Americans and Native Americans.

On this great holiday let us give thanks for family, friends and community. Let us realize that life is about relationships. If we have close relationships with family, friends, and  community we are fortunate, and we have much to be thankful for.

With the shocking news of the sexual abuse that occurred at Penn State University by a former Penn State University coach many are asking why the coaches, academics, and others who had knowledge of what was happening or knowledge that should have led to further inquiry did nothing.

The good samaritan is a rare individual. Psychologists have studied why people choose to not get involved in helping a stranger in need. Often it is because others are also observing and the responsibility is diffused among the group. This was not the Penn State situation.

In the Penn State situation the choice not to get involved was made because of the prestige of those involved. It was as if getting involved and bringing to the forefront the abuse would mar a great institution and program.

Here we have a situation where the institution and program were great because they stood for excellence. Sadly not getting involved out of fear of tarnishing the institution and program has led to a situation where the institution and program are tarnished beyond those who could have intervened and dealt with the abuse.

The vast majority of Penn State academics and students would have got involved. The vast majority of those at Penn State stand for excellence. The vast majority at Penn State University continue to stand for excellence.

In Seattle our four seasons blur together more then distinctly define themselves. In Seattle all seasons have cloudy days. Few in summer, more in fall, a lot in winter, and less in spring.

The older I get the less I like winter, and the more I like late spring, summer, and early fall. But I am happy we have four seasons. I like the variety. I like days where it is easy to go to work, and on weekends spend time inside.

The seasons are like life. There are great days, OK days, and difficult days. But all days are good days. Life is what we make it. As Walter Hagen said take the time to smell the roses. As I say take the time to enjoy life even when there are no roses.