My first jury trial is one month away. Today I talked to John Henry about jury selection. When I asked him about jury selection he told me about hearing the “Three Amigos” on NPR. The “Three Amigos” are three religious leaders-a Jewish Rabbi, a Muslim Iman, and a Christian Priest. John Henry told me to listen to the “Three Amigos” to learn the essentials of Jury selection. Well I listened to them and this is what I learned:
How to Begin. Rather than beginning a discussion with another person about religion (or with a juror about the case) we begin by learning who the other person is. For the “Three Amigos” this means they do not begin a religious discussion “by discussing common and disparate beliefs.” They begin by getting to know the other person. Here there is no right or wrong answer. There is never criticism of the other person. There is no debate. There is acceptance of who the other person is and how they perceive and feel about issues.
Listen. John Henry added that to get to know another person we must get into their skin. To do this we must listen. It sounds easy to say OK we can listen, but listening is easier said than done. Usually we start to think what we am going to say as we wait for the other person to stop talking. Then we immediately start to talk. John Henry says this is not listening. Listening is being present in the now while the other person talks. Listening is internalizing what the other person says by feeling what the other says. While the other speaks we make eye contact, and we are open to the other. When they stop talking we reflect on their their words and body language. This means silence rather than an immediate response. We respond by acknowledging what the other said through words and body language that lets the other know we understand.
Reveal Vulnerabilities. The “There Amigos” teach to “reveal vulnerabilities,” when we discuss our feelings with the speaker. By doing this we engage the other in a discussion of beliefs. Here there is honesty about ourself and acceptance of the speaker. In this way we get to know the speaker. We do not try to convert the speaker. Rather we discuss how each of us can make room for the other’s belief without conversion.
Overcome Ego. The ‘Three Amigos” teach we must bury our ego-“our little self.” By doing this we open up to the lives of others. This is not what I learned in law school. John Henry says law school stresses debate and argument. In jury selection we stress honesty and acceptance. We are looking for inclusion rather than exclusion. John Henry says the jury is like a tribe and we are the voice for the tribe. We are all in this together.